Wednesday 20 December 2006

Virgin Blogger Approaching!

To keep up there with all the hip happeners in the world I'm here typing away here to bring you my first ever blog. Admittedly I have been a bit on the slow side to get here, but better late than never - that's what they say isn't it?

Who are they anyway? They have an awful lot to answer for if you ask me. Just the other day I was sat in my car waiting at traffic lights when my mother came out with "They say when a woman hits 50 she becomes invisible to men." Well what a sweeping statement! Surely if it were true men would wonder why there were no women over 50 in the world? So I hastily replied by telling her that at whatever age, we are as as visible as we make ourselves, before telling her to tell them to go and get lost with their stupid sayings.

The second they claim I've heard this week is that vitamin C doesn't help to keep colds away. Now this is just the biggest load of bulls**t i've heard all week, and it's only wednesday. Do they mean to tell me that I've been buying vitamin C in every possible form that it has ever reached the shelves in to try and ward off the common cold, when what I should have done is saved up the money and enjoyed a week in the Caribbean? And one more thing - why don't they put signs up in shops saying "Don't but this as it won't help", or tell their they say representatives (my mother, for example) to prewarn buyers rather than tell them 14 days after the purchase has been made and there is no chance of a refund?

Do you ever wonder about things but never remember to look the answer up? Being a bit of a crazy woman I tend to think about some strange stuff and sometimes when I'm near a computer I remember to look it up, and this week I did. This particular question came to me when I was walking quite innocently up the High Street when a big drop of water landed on my forehead. So I did the normal checklist like: Is it rain? No. Has it dripped from a building? Nope, I am not close enough to any buildings. Did someone just spit on me? They better bloody not have, but no it's too cold. So that only leaves one more question, Did a bird just wee on me? This lead me to my 'Question of the Week' - Do birds wee? The answer is no! Their wee and poo comes together in the same sitting apparantly. Well thank god I wasn't covered in bird wee - but I still to this day don't know what that was on my forehead.

So i've covered two of the biggest wonders of the world (who are they? and Do birds wee? in my first blog so i've not done too badly. I'm sure i'll have another question or they say comment in the next few days so I guess I'll be back shortly....

PS:It would be better if birds did wee as it would reduce the chance of getting shit on by half!

PS: What does PS stand for or mean?